People will forget what you said
People will forget what you did
But people will never forget how you made them feel.
-Maya Angelo

These wise words by the late celebrated poet Maya Angelou point out that the way people make other people feel is conveyed by something greater than words and action. She contends that people forget your words and actions, but they remember how you make them feel.

How you make someone feel is often communicated through signals that you aren’t even aware you are sending. Likewise, the recipient of those signals isn’t even aware that he or she is receiving them. This is called nonverbal communication or body language. It’s been studied for centuries, and Charles Darwin wrote the first scientific study about it back in 1872. It has become an important topic in recent times as researchers learn more about neuroscience and can measure the brain’s response to various stimuli.
How much are you communicating without words?

An often cited statistic about nonverbal communication is that 93% of our interpersonal communication is nonverbal. This comes from studies by UCLA Professor Emeritus of Psychology, Albert Mehrabian, whose work indicates that:

• 55% of communication consists of body language
• 38% is expressed through tone of voice
• 7% is communicated through words.

Focus on the signals you want to send

So how can we put this great body of knowledge to work in our lives? If you’re in a sales position or any position where you are trying to get people to be open to you, you can start with being aware of the signals you are sending out with your body language. Take a look at some common nonverbal cues from body language expert and author Christy Greenblatt.

• Leaning in – When you want to show interest in what someone is saying, lean forward slightly. This happens naturally if you are interested in what someone is saying.
• Nodding – When you want someone to continue speaking, nod your head three times in a row at the same rate. Slow nodding signals interest and fast nodding indicates impatience.
• Matching facial expressions – When you are having a conversation with someone and you want to show that you are relating to them, match their facial expression. For example, if someone is concerned about something, furrow your brow a bit as they speak.
• Being still – If you want to show that you are listening intently, be still. Being still signals that what someone is saying is of top importance to you.
• Tilting your head – If you want encourage someone to continue talking, tilt your head slightly to right while you are listening. This is signals that you are listening.

As you read through these cues, you will most likely try these simple movements out. It may surprise you that your body is already familiar with them, and you do them naturally.In fact, body language expert, Tanya Reinman, explains it like this, “Some experts believe spoken language appeared on the scene only 160,000 to 350,000 years ago. Given that humans of some kind have walked the earth for about two million years, that’s a long time to depend upon gestures and grunts to get your point across. But clearly, it worked!”

Agencies have the advantage

The take away is to be conscious of the signals you are sending out when you are with clients or anyone. Understanding body language can help you to nurture and build client relationships. In-person relationships are a tremendous advantage that local agencies have over large carriers. Use your time with clients wisely by using thoughtful communication. There is an enormous amount of research in this area, so be sure to include a few titles in your summer reading.

Need some suggestions? Check out a few of these books.

• The Definitive Book of Body Language by Barbara and Allen Pease
• Sales & Body Language: Tuning into Your Customer’s Buying Signals by Christy Greenblatt
• What Every BODY is Saying by Joseph Navarro
• The Power of Body Language: How to Succeed in Every Business and Social Encounter by Tonya Reiman

What’s on your reading list?